8:07 AM Monday, October 19, 2020 (PDT) Time in Buellton, CA

Key of Resolution : The Invisible Sound That Moves All Hearts


I pray that I may trust God to answer my prayer as He sees fit. I pray that I may be content with whatever form that answer may take.

Today I will be working in the office with Seth at my side . Yesterday I was living the dream in Santa Barbara with Lisa. We went early in the day and spent a lot of time just waling up and down Sate street, sold moms old jewelry, had lunch at O'izzo or something like that. They had the most tremendous homemade bread! Then, after walking the full length up and down, we swam in the ocean, holding each other in the glossy cool clear ocean water as the sun was setting over the pier. Then we headed back to State street and had a pot of pomegranate tea and walked though the golden lit courthouse. It was absolutely fantastic. A dream day . Communication with Lisa is going well and eating macaroni and cheese at 9pm could use some attention. The most memorable thing about yesterday was spending time with Lisa in Santa Barbara, holding her in the gentle serine waves as the sun set on the horizon . I've been thinking allot about ho good things are and if the go wrong, though I would like to think, "what if everything works out?" .

Something I could do for Lisa is give her some time when she gets home from work tonight to just listen .
Something nice Seth would appreciate is time together getting things done this afternoon .
Something Jeanne would appreciate is a phone call every morning instead of a text .
and something Rachael would like is lunch, just the two of us .

I am rested and ready for work . I hear Seth getting school work done . I see the blue hue of the studio lights, keeping the room dark before I open the window . I am really happy to be here . I pretend to be less excited than I really am about being here, I think I could burst . I feel grateful . I touch on gratitude, however it can be so much deeper for me . I worry that I don't do enough for my family . I am pleased to feel simpler in life . I understand simplicity is bigger than what it seems, its freeing . I dream of more Sundays, hell, I'm dreaming about this afternoon . I try to stay focused and ready for the work day ahead of me . I am simply pleased .

I am grateful for my time alone with Lisa and the comfortable presence we had together yesterday .
I am grateful for this mornings meditation and coffee out on the back patio .
I am grateful for my live and the lives around me sharing it .

19. How many of my friends would I trust with my life?

Very Few, I would say possibly 3-5 maybe. Andrew, Lisa, Mom, Dad, Seth and some others in the program, but its pretty select if I am understanding the question correctly.

Did I work toward my goals yesterday?
I did, the goal was to have a wonderful and relaxing day of adventure, and that's what I did. .

What bad habits do I need to stop?
Eating late at night and vaping. .

What motivated me yesterday?
God. Seriously, that and maybe the desire to relax and be at peace. .

Have I been the kind of person I want to be?
I could do better, and I am trying. .

What mistakes did I make yesterday, and what can I learn from them?
I could have let go of my vape attachment when it started to act up and not work. I realized I was being attached to it and had an opportunity to just let it go and I didn't .

Am I holding on to something I need to let go of?
I need to get back into a program, noon meetings starting today .

What matters most in my life?
my sobriety, so lets put it first .

Have I done anything lately worth remembering?
... that Sunday in Santa Barbara will be pretty easy to remember if that's what you're asking .

Did I made someone smile yesterday?
Lisa. She smiled a few times methinks .

When did I last push the boundaries of my comfort zone?
its been awhile. Lets do that by going out and looking for business .

What do I need to change about myself?
eating at night, going to bed earlier, and vaping .
What do I want most in life?
quality and time .
What is life calling of me?
Purpose. Singleness of purpose .
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